Groanin' the Sky Blues

The sales of Scott Dann and Danny Fox sent us dizzy with excitement as we banged away on our keyboards splashing our hurt all over message boards in a gleeful rage. Despite us all agreeing that if a Premiership club came in for one of our 'big four' we would find it very hard to keep them and deny their progression, we were left stunned and a little wounded when the offers did come in and the players duly accepted.

They signed contracts, why couldn't we make them stay? Why not make them believe in your big plan, Ray? Don't they like it here? Buy them a snooker table for the spare room. Have their rides pimped. Send their WAGs on a shopping spree. Surely there's something you can do to persuade them to stay, Ray!

The sales were just an hors d'oeuvre. For a main course we had a lack of signings, and a side order of Sisu must be screwing us. For some reason we expect new players in June these days. We want to know who we're after, how much we're offering, and where they're going to live. By July, Ray Ranson must have felt like Michael Jackson's doctor the way fans were demanding answers.

Ray, as well he should have done, stayed quietly working behind the scenes. So, instead, we came up with our own answer. Sisu must be taking all the money. They must be! It fits! What else could be going on? Surely players couldn't be turning us down! Dann and Fox didn't want to leave and quadruple their wages, they were forced out by mercenaries with 'Sisu' tattooed onto their chests and forged onto their metal briefcases! Why didn't we see it before?

Then Ray told us that Sisu weren't taking any money, and we said "Oh. Okay."

"Wait a minute, why haven't I got my ruddy season ticket yet!"

And there was dessert.

Now that we have a few good new players in the squad, we're winning games, and playing pretty good football, us fans are getting hungry again. Sure, we chomped on the scraps of a Coca-cola Cup defeat, but that wasn't all that satisfying (it was actually encouraging). So what's left to eat?

Hang on, we still don't own our stadium... I can smell something tasty...